The King of Dlong

I KNOW nine things about the King of Dlong
And you will believe eight of them.
I know that he sails boats in his bath;
1 know that he wants holidays with pay;
And I know that in the Royal Correspondence
He writes rude messages between the lines
In invisible ink.
I know that half his would-be assassins
Are hired by him.
I know he calls the Queen “Queenie”
To annoy her.
I know his crown jewels are really sweetmeats
Which he secretly devours.
I know that he writes the most appalling parodies
Of the Nine Songs in his praise.
I know he prepares to abdicate
In favor of the President of the Republican Club,
Who is himself in disguise.
And now you know these things also
And will believe them.
But I also know that he gets tales of mystery
From the great Public Library at Zhat
And underlines all the hidden clues
To give away the plot to the next reader.
This you will not believe.
But I am the Librarian of Zhat.