Principles of Holistic Medicine Applied to Infrastructure Maintenance: A Test Case

By Fred Catapano

A TEST CASE

BY FRED CATAPANO

INTRODUCTION

Though successfully practiced in East for centuries,2 holistic medicine—that is, the treatment of the entire physical and emotional configuration of the patient instead of the solely medical aspects of the condition3—has only recently been accepted by the American medical community,4 and has, in fact, begun to be embraced by other professions, as its efficacy has been established.5,6 Last year the Skepticism Committee of the American Society of Civil Engineers commissioned the author7 to investigate the nicely punctuated question “Could holistic engineering be applied to the remediation of infrastructure deterioration, and if so, how?”

Taking as a test case New York City’s ailing Williamsburg Bridge,8 we strove to discover which, if any, holistic principles could be employed in the maintenance of this historic and decrepit structure.9

SUMMARY OF RESEARCH

The perception of infrastructure elements as sensitive and sentient organisms responsive to holistic treatments has generally been resisted by the engineering profession.10 While several recent efforts have been made to introduce holism in transportation planning,11 these attempts have been uniformly laughable. Monographs from other disciplines, however, have, in isolated instances, touched on the possibilities for holistic applications in the field of capital-plant maintenance:

• Bettina Collingsworth has suggested that the introduction of labor-saving mechanized repair equipment, such as jackhammers, has resulted in the loss of the “personal" aspect of maintenance; she has urged a return to the more “caring” hands-on practices of earlier times. “It is no accident,” she asserts,12 “that the Great Wall of China is extant. Just think of all those delicate little Chinese hands lovingly laying stone upon stone, and think of how good that wall must feel.”13

• Performance-related insecurity has been identified as a valid phenomenon by P. J. Coomeraswamy and others,14 who have suggested that phrases such as “bumper to bumper,” “five-mile backup,” and “thirty-minute delays” may produce deleterious effects when overheard by aboveground ferrous structures that can receive commercial-radio-transmitted motorists’ advisories. Coomeraswamy believes that such structures cannot help having feelings of deep inadequacy after public ostracism over their inability to perform their vehicle-delivery tasks satisfactorily.

• Nutritional deficiencies may cause the failure of some structures’ natural immune systems, according to Wallace Willis, whose work on the effects of hyperingestion of asphalt by laboratory animals15 inadvertently focused worldwide attention on an imperfectly understood aspect of highway rehabilitation programs.

• Miller and Jacobs have pointed to anxiety-accelerated deterioration in the pathology of tunnels.16 Citing the subaqueous passages’ constant awareness of millions of tons of overhead water pressure as a quotidian fact of life, they have hypothesized the presence of high levels of immunosuppressive chemicals in mortar joints near those cute little traffic signals on the ceiling of the Lincoln Tunnel.

• Hypertension may be a heretofore unconsidered risk to certain cold-climate roadways that undergo seasonal salting, according to Morton Freeman.17 Comparative studies of trafficbearing infrastructure elements in upstate New York have revealed that sanding is preferable.18

RECOMMENDATIONS

The study finds merit in a holistic approach to infrastructure maintenance and urges that, as a test case, the Williamsburg Bridge be treated as a feeling, caring, and vulnerable entity. It is suggested that the following measures be implemented without delay:19

Change the name to Gotham Skyway. Enhanced self-esteem, resulting from metaphoric nomenclature, will increase the structure’s natural immunity to disease.20

Provide sensitivity training to repair crews. Recent research has suggested that inanimate objects may, in fact, be sensitive to pain21 and should be treated accordingly.

Greatly increase tolls. Studies have shown a positive and lasting relationship between revenue production and a sense of civic value and societal contribution.22

Alter the paint scheme. Experience indicates that primary-color infrastructures such as the Golden Gate Bridge, the Blue Ridge Parkway, and the Yellow Brick Road turn out to be relatively maintenanceand trouble-free, while neutral-shade structures, such as Zane Grey Viaduct, in Arizona, and Hollywood’s Shirley Temple Black Bridge/Tunnel, along with others too numerous to mention, are in virtually total disrepair.

Observe significant anniversaries. No single life event causes more disheartening reactions than the failure to celebrate important dates.23 Suitable anniversaries might include date of opening, first suicide by jumping, and other statistical milestones.

Clean up the neighborhoods. Since environmental shortcomings are known to be psychic stressors, the stable but untidy neighborhoods on both ends of the bridge should be razed and replaced by landscaped promenades and waterfront revitalization.24 Approach ramps should be redesigned to include flowered median malls, seductive acceleration lanes, and grassy shoulders.

CONCLUSION

The author has proposed new techniques to bridge the gaps between the past and the future. The next step is up to someone else. □

  1. See Alistair Cooke-Simm, “Whatever Happened to the ‘W’ in ‘Holism’?" Annuls of the Anglo-American Orthographic Society, XII (2), pp. 31-40.↩
  2. For an illuminating overview, see “Why the Japs Never Get Sick,” Medical Corps Bulletin, U.S. Army of Occupation (Tokyo: 1946), p. 17.↩
  3. An excellent summary of the field is Ann Meaculpa, M.S., “You Have Only Yourself to Blame: A Holistic Approach to Health and Illness,”Psychosomatics Today, June, 1985, pp. 42-57.↩
  4. Cf. “How You Feel May Indeed Determine How You Feel” (editorial), N. Amer. Jrnl. Obvious Med., XIX (3), p. 4.↩
  5. E.g., Francis X. Postfacto, Esq., “A Lawyer’s Nirvana: Maybe Your Client Is a Total Legal Basket Case,”ABA Guide to Profits (New York: Upper East Side Press, 1982), pp. 114-239.↩
  6. E.g., Steve Leisure, D.D.S., “Why Stop at the Mouth? Holistic Dentistry and the Country Home,”Dental Dollar$, April, 1986, pp. 12—40.↩
  7. B.A., M.A., Ph.D., inter alia.↩
  8. Documented in To Hell in a Handbasket: The State of the City (City of New York: Office of the Mayor, 1988), pp. 752—806.↩
  9. See “DEATHTRAP!!!" New York Post, May 27, 1987, p. 1.↩
  10. E.g., Walt Macho, “To Hell With This ‘Touchy-Feely Engineering’ Crap” (interview), Engnrg. News, April, 1988, pp. 78-82.↩
  11. Notably the highly publicized 1990 Big Sur Conference on Macrobiotics and Highway Resurfacing, reported in Transactions of the California Academy of Cosmics and Groovy Sunsets (no volume numbers, no pagination).↩
  12. Bettina Collingsworth, R.N., “Effects of Therapeutic Touch on Elevated Railway Rights of Way: An Overview,”Amer. Jrnl. Metallurg. Nursg., XII (3), pp. 9-83.↩
  13. For an incisive refutation, see “RR Execs Kibosh ‘Screwball Ideas,”New York Times, June 30, 1986, p. 29.↩
  14. P. J. Coomeraswamy et al., “Breaker One-Niner: Some Broadcasting Challenges Presented by Shakespearean Asides in Timon of Athens and Coriolanus, and Sundry Other Observations,” C.B. News ‘n’ Views, December, 1978, p. 46.↩
  15. Reported in “Laboratory Prank Yields Surprising Results,”Newsletter, Columbia Univ. Psych. Dept., October, 1987.↩
  16. A. B. Miller and C. D. Jacobs, “Comparison of Anteand Post-Diluvian Shanty Roofs in Tell-el-Amarna: A Follow-up to the Leakey Study,” Competitive Archaeology, X (1), pp. 26-219.↩
  17. See M. Freeman, Risk Factors Associated With Sodium in Highly Salinized Expressways (Salt Lake City: Brigham Young Univ. Press, 1982), p. 78.↩
  18. H. Youngman and M. Bcrle, “Sandy Claws: What the Cat Got When She Crossed the Desert,”in J. Leno, ed., A Treasury of Superannuated Humor (Catskill, N.Y.: Borscht Belt Press, 1988), pp. 183—201.↩
  19. It may already be too late. See Juan Tegucigalpa, M.D., “Holistic Interventions in the Treatment of the ‘Mañana Syndrome,”’ Psychology Tomorrow, June, 1990.↩
  20. Cf. Bud Waxman, “Correlative Productivity and Longevity Survey of ‘Janitors’ and ‘Custodial Engineers,'” Jrnl. Mgmt. Manipulatn., LVI (2), pp. 4-70.↩
  21. See Mary Anderson, M.S.W., “Would You Sandblast Your Daughter?" Neonatal Hygiene, June, 1977, pp. 42-51. See also Bernard “Dutch" Kramer, P.E., “Highways Have Feelings Too,” Paving News, August, 1988, p. 9.↩
  22. A riveting example of this phenomenon is Luther Lassitude, Call Me “Garbage": Memoirs of an Unemployed Head of Household (Pittsburgh: Rust Belt Press, 1979).↩
  23. For the classic representation, see cartoon by Roz Chast in The New Yorker, July 12, 1985, p. 18. Captioned “Ooops!!—Sorry, Honey . . . ,” the illustration depicts a man standing on the left, looking at his wristwatch, while on the right a woman stands arms akimbo. The living room is a mess. In center foreground a beagle wags its tail.↩
  24. Pro bono work in this field has been highly successful. See “At Absolutely No Cost to the Public: A Developers’ Guide to Big-City Pork-Barrel Politics" (18th ed.), in-house publication of the Trump Organization.↩