A Seizure of Couplets

THE prophet is without honor till the year
He prophesies the things we want to hear.

The Haws in greatness don’t one tittle
Increase the stature of the little.

That Caesar and his slave within their graves
Are equal is no balm to living slaves.

Their iron chains struck off, behold
Men Fight to put on chains of gold.

The trust of dogs and children proves this rule:
Dogs and children are not hard to fool.

Peace is that quiet time essential for
The preparation of another war.

He who fights and runs away
May be a general some day.

What sight doth so infuriate the wise
As seeing fools happy in their paradise.?

It is the pedant, not the peasant,
Who makes the poet’s life unpleasant.

Only the dry wood may be kindled;
Only the greedy may be swindled.

Diplomacy is pretending not to note
In others a strong desire to slit your throat.

A neutral is a man who ends
With two new foes and two less friends.

Get thee behind me, Satan, and be quick.
Met thinks a little push might turn the trick.

After the seven sins, the Devil wrought
An eighth and deadlier sin called Getting Caught.

So long as money is evil’s root,
The tree will bear attractive fruit.

Vowing our faith in heaven, still we go
Like exiles driven from the hell we know.

Why should God view man’s sexual habits
As more important than the rabbit’s?

In the city of the mad, the sane
Are held in check with bar and chain.

What man would be his brother’s keeper
When sanitariums are cheaper?

The rich have psychoanalysis;
The poor have movie palaces.

Your broken leg will never rend
My heart as does my hangnail, friend.

Psychosomatic illnesses are those
The doctor cannot promptly diagnose.

Oh, how the angels must have enjoyed
The meeting between St. Paul and St. Freud!

Alas, no revelation from above
Makes clear which church God is a member of.