You may be familiar with a punning game (sometimes called Bess Sellers) in
which a made-up book title is linked with a made-up author, such as "The
Spanking" by Ben Dover and "The Broken Window" by Eva Brick. Taimse is
escalating the madness by suggesting for each title *two* authors (or an author
and an illustrator, if you want to think of it that way). Here are some of
Taimse's examples:
"Increasing Computer Memory" by Chip Adder and R. Drive
"The Dictionary of Outdated Slang" by O. Yukidd and Bea Snees
"Driving in Boston" by Helen D. Rhodes and A. U. Joyk
"We May Never Know" by Mr. Reese Torry and Hugh Dunnet
"The Trial Was A Sham" by Ng Joo Ree as told to Ms. Carry Jo Justus
**PS** We are moving on Friday, June 14 (raise your hand if you want to help
carry our convertible sofa), so we may be off our computers (and definitely off
our rockers) for a short time. Bear with us if we are a little slow to answer
your mail. To comfort us while we're weeping over the scratches in our
furniture and the leaks in our new plumbing, please visit our Word Games and
Puzzles message board and say something silly. We'll be back as soon as we
can!
Results of Coauthors
(All names without @ symbols are AOL screen names.)
We should be calling this report "A Thousand and One Witticisms" by Joe King
and Hugh Moore. Or maybe, with all the puns on people's names, we should be
calling it "A Guide to the Appellation Trail," by Lotta Laffin and Buster
Gutt.
Anyhow, we thank you for two weeks' worth of merry monickers. It's amazing
that we didn't encounter more duplication among the puns. Several books were
authored by Shirley U. Geste and her quipping cousins (such as U. Gotta
Bee-Kidden, submitted by [email protected] and I "Kid" Unott, submitted by
RDH9995). The criminal element was often represented by Miss D. Meanor and the
puzzling element by Anna Graham. Lawyers took a pounding repeatedly, with many
named I. Cheatham and Hi Feeze. There were some doctors named Bill Lotz and
some IRS chiefs named Yul Paye. Quite a few wills, testaments, and insurance
policies were penned by a guy named Justin Case. And we were visited several
times by that great old knock-knock joke couple, Sam and Janet Evening.
Our new foolproof, state-of-the-art, solar-powered, trademark-registered
Mirth-o-Meter recorded its highest needle-jumps for entries by Reluft,
[email protected], and RDH9995. We begin our stroll through the Library of
Laughter, then, with volumes by these three prizewinners! Congratulations
Reluft, woontner, and RDH9995--and thank you, everyone!
***The Winners***
"The Origins of Frankenstein" by Bill Tim with Lou Sparts (Reluft)
"Common Medical Problems" by D. Tommy Hertz and Denise R. Aiken
([email protected])
"Skin Deep: The Art of the Supercilious" by Hugh Luke Marvilas and I. Dolph
Lattery (RDH9995)
***And Other Top Favorites***
"The Big Book of Things That Go Boom!" by Dinah Mite and Adam Baum
(BYUGrad)
"Life of the Caveman" by Milo Forehead and Anne Thropology
([email protected])
"How to Escape from Prison" by Jimmy D. Lock and Doug R. Wayout
([email protected])
"Coping with Pain" by Al Kaseltzer and Ben Gay (MrJaded)
"Serious Home Security" by Barb Dwyer and Bill da Moat (MrJaded)
"Traveling at the Speed of Light" by Oliver Sudden and Miles Away (MrJaded)
"Let Us Watch Your Vehicle" by Val A. Parking and Carlotta Tendant (MrJaded)
"Justice Systems of the Old West" by I. M. DeLaw and Delores Wright
(Bear MacD)
"The Merchant of Venison" by Hunter Downe and Tanner Hyde (Ravensegg)
"The Body Scratchers" by Harry Pitts and Dan Druff (Ravensegg)
"Valley of the Malls" by L.A. Shawper and Constance Lee Kahn-Sooming
(Ravensegg)
"Crime and Pun Is Meant" by Russ Ian Guy and "John Doe" Stoevsky (Ravensegg)
"Robbing Hoods" by N.D. Window and Arthur Door (Ravensegg)
"How Greek Was My Valley" by Diana Stemple and Dorie Collums (Ravensegg)
"The Britches of Madison Avenue" by Gene D. Sziner and A. "Kat" Walker
(Ravensegg)
"A Farewell to Farms" by Tildie Fields and Haywood Groh (Ravensegg)
"I Was a Test-Tube Baby" by Artie Fischlin and Semma Nation (Boomer357a)
"If You Feel Like Givin' Me a Lifetime of Devotion" by Isaac and Teddy Moshen
(Chezdevens)
"The 1996 Presidential Campaign" by Phil Anderer and Jerry Attrick
(Chezdevens)
"Italian Cooking" by Andy Pasto and Ravi Oli (Chezdevens)
"More Italian Cooking" by Strom Boli and Pete Zapai (Chezdevens)
"Haunted House" by I.C. Agost and Dor Creak (BEEserk)
"How to Host a Successful Party" by Bella DeBall and Macon Whoopee
([email protected])
"Looking into the Future" by Crystal Ball and I.M. Psychic
([email protected])
"The Art of Flower Arranging" by Mary Gold and Phil O. Dendron
([email protected])
"Turbulent Anatolia" by Asa Miner and Warren Peace ([email protected])
"Coping with Partial Hearing Loss" by Hy Frequency and Isabel Ringing
([email protected])
"Teaching the Very Young" by Ella Mann-Terry and Ed U. Cajun
([email protected])
"Do-It-Yourself Home Repair" by Isadore Swingen and Rusty Hinjez
([email protected])
"Cargo Loading Made Simple" by Steve A. Dore, Werkin D. Dox, and Manuel Laber
([email protected])
"The Thief of Sherwood Forest" by Robin D. Rich and Given Tudor-Poore
([email protected])
"Mild Spring, Dry Summer" by Luke Warm and Forrest Fyre ([email protected])
"The Galloping Gourmand" by Andy Pasto and Etta Apple ([email protected])
"The Rising Tide of Litigation" by C.U. Inncourt and Sue Yurpantzoff
([email protected])
"Be Your Own Oral Surgeon" by Perry O'Dontill and Max E. Facial (Rickwins)
"I Remember Marcel Proust" by Tom Perdue and Madeline Aroma (Rickwins)
"Great Women of Opera" by Barbara Seville and Rose Incava Lear (Rickwins)
"What's So Great About European Literature?" by Stan Dahl and Dusty F. Skea
(Rickwins)
"The Short Goodbye" by Albie Derzane and Althea Thoon (Rickwins)
"T.V. Guide" by Anne Tenna and Kay Bull (KISSY555)
"Good Manners" by Ed Ikette and Dee Corrum (KISSY555)
"How to Bartend" by Al Cuholic and Scot Chonrocks (KISSY555)
"Raise Your I.Q" by Gene Eous and Prou Didgey (KISSY555)
"How to Increase Your Income" by Anita Raze and Moira Lowance (SMPolonsky)
"The Book of Platitudes" by Manny R. Cald and Fu R. Cho-sen (SMPolonsky)
"Islamic Beauty Secrets" by Ahmad Bath and Hafez Lift (SMPolonsky)
"Disadvantages of Life Insurance Investments" by Noah Nuity, Tilly Croaks
(SMPolonsky)
"Airline Safety Information for Passengers" by Toulouse N. Belt, Leif
Tuppon-Buckle (SMPolonsky)
"Military Recruitment Pamphlet" by John D. Army and C.D. World (SMPolonsky)
"The Double Shift" by Manuel and Otto Mattick (SMPolonsky)
"Favorite Christmas Carols, Vol. I" by Dick D. Halls, with Bozo Folly
(SMPolonsky)
"Favorite Christmas Carols, Vol. II" by Cy Len Knight, Holly Knight
(SMPolonsky)
"Favorite Christmas Carols, Vol. III" by Joy Trudy World, Delores Cumb
(SMPolonsky)
"Favorite Christmas Carols, Vol. IV" by Sandy Klausis, Commander Towne
(SMPolonsky)
"Favorite Christmas Carols, Vol. V" by Gloria N. Excel, C. S. Dayo
(SMPolonsky)
"Favorite Christmas Carols, Vol VI" by Joaquin N. A. Winter, Juan Darland
(SMPolonsky)
"Favorite Christmas Carols, Vol VII " by V. Vishnu Amari, Chris Moss
(SMPolonsky)
"Favorite Christmas Carols, Vol VII, Part II" by Andy Happ, Bea Neuyir
(SMPolonsky)
"Running the Bases" by Willie Makket and Woody Tripp ([email protected])
"Women Who Hate Too Much and the People Who Hate Them Back" by Haffa Gruddge
and Nita Hart ([email protected])
"The New Toupe'" by Seymour Hare and Nat T. Styll ([email protected])
"The Music Recital" by Clara Net and Vy O. Lynn ([email protected])
"The Boring Guest" by Izzie A. Pane and E. Nuff ([email protected])
"Sibling Rivalry and How to Handle It" by Sharon Tois and Holden Tung
(Booksie2)
"My Life in the Gay Nineties" as told by Tara Raboomeay to Luz Lautrec
(Booksie2)
"The Confederacy" as told by Carrie Miebach to Ole Virginnee (Booksie2)
"The Lure of Monopoly" by Marvin Gardens and I. M. DeBanque (Booksie2)
"Margaret Mitchell" by Frank Lee Miedeer and Hamilton Twinnz (Booksie2)
"The Problem of Schools" by Van Daalissm and Dee Linkwent (Booksie2)
"The New Era" by Si Berneticks and Moe Dhem (Booksie2)
"The Dysfunctional Family" by Max I. Mum and Mina Mum (Booksie2)
"Voting Is Your Right" by Jerry Mander and Della Gates (Booksie2)
"The Mexican Cookbook" by Hal A. Peneau and Burr Reetos (Booksie2)
"Behind the Green Door" by Jay D. Forrest with Kelly Lincoln (MattWolf)
"Classical Table Settings" by Crystal Stemware, photos by Sterling Flatware
(MattWolf)
"Doris Day: A Woman and Her Music" by Kay Sirrah and N. Les Love (MattWolf)
"Are You Kidding?" by Shirley Eugeste and Don B. Reed-Ickless (MattWolf)
"Arithmetic Made Simple" by Matt De Mattux and Hal Garithem (MattWolf)
"The Zsa Zsa Gabor Story" by Marian verMunney and Slappy deKopp (MattWolf)
"Mayhem in the Livery" by Bill Yuss and John Dist (ShedPot)
"The Tender Lamb" by Mary Nate and Stu Gentley (ShedPot)
"The Road to Oblivion" by Grandpa Tole and Axel D. Zaster (ShedPot)
"The Counterfeit Crown" by Earl Satsjem and Faye Kopal (ShedPot)
"101 Crossword Puzzles" by Juan Downe and Sixx Tina Cross (CindyBman)
"Fail-Proof French Cooking" by Sue Flay and Nevah Burns (CindyBman)
"Dentistry Reference" by Roberta Plack and Rosa Teeth (CindyBman)
"Learning to Fly" by Sis Nyah and Piper Cubb (CindyBman)
"Answering Machines and You" by Wyatt Forthe-Tone and Eyam Notte-Holme
(CindyBman)
"Sound Asleep" by Mel A. Tonin and Goode Nye Tall (CindyBman)
"My Favorite Dogs" by Iris Wollfe-Hound and Sal Uki (CindyBman)
"Everything You Wanted to Know About Sects but Were Afraid to Ask" by Ann
Glican and Agnes Tique (RuthNelson)
"Eleemosynary Intent: More Than a Tax Dodge" by Cherry Table and Ben E. Volent
(RuthNelson)
"The Traffic Jam" by Carson Trux and I. B. Drivin ([email protected])
"The Do-It-Yourself Moving Day" by Hugh Hall and Eakin Bach (AndyWS)
"I've Got the Steel Company Blues" by I. Beam and Steele Coyle (AndyWS)
"Blue Light Specials (Chaos at K-Mart)" by Clarence Sails and Xavier Munny
(EZWriterMJ)
"Life Is a Rocky Road" by Roxx and Stoanes (SWEETBEBE1)
"Church Architecture" by I.M Pei-gan and Cathy Drill (PayPete1st)
"Pacific Highways" by Cal E. Fournier and Roo Twan Owen (PayPete1st)
"Guzzlers" edited by Mike Robier and Bruce Keefer Ohl (PayPete1st)
"Chucking the Dickens Out of Wood" by A. Kris Mask, Errol Grey, Tex Pecht, A.
Shin, Saul Evert West, and Fay Gun (PayPete1st)
"Groan in Washington" by Mac N. Tosh, Del E. Schuss, Wally Wallace Wheaton,
Yong Rani Smith and Red C. Dar (PayPete1st)
"Hershey Comes": Welk and Owen D'Street (PayPete1st)
"Once A-pun a Midnight Clear" by Mel Key Wake 'n Stella Shin (PayPete1st)
"Tiny Tim: The Real Story" by Faye Khare and Val Setto (PayPete1st)
"Midtown Madness" by Missy Trane and Haley Cab (PayPete1st)
"Sing a Song of Sick Snakes" by Coral King and Tim Burattler (PayPete1st)
"PUNgent Urbanity" by Odie Cologne and Anna Roma (PayPete1st)
"Sweet Science: Boxing Defense and Offense" by Bob Masters and Kareem M. Hard
(LeonardJK)
"Fielding Fly Balls" by Hugh Ketchem, Andy Sout (LeonardJK)
"Terms of Endearment" by On Lee Yu and Q. T. Darling (LeonardJK)
"Boat Repair" by Ewell B. Leaky and Rusty Tiller (LeonardJK)
"Western Land Battles" by Ima Hunter and U.R. Farmer (LeonardJK)
"Solving Homelessness in Italy" by Raiza D. Cash and Bela D. House
(LeonardJK)
"Interior Decorating" by Dusty Brown, Forrest and Kelly Greene, Roy L. Blue, A.
Crew, Harv S. Gold, Eva Cato, Ms. T. White, and Cole Black (LeonardJK)
"Contesting a Will" by Sue R. Brothers and Wynn S. Tate (LeonardJK)
"Beer Bottling Made Easy" by Phillip Miller and Bud Packer (LeonardJK)
"Planning Your Vacation" by Carrie B. N. Cruise, Summer Holiday (LeonardJK)
"Hair Care Made Easy" by Bea Leach and Sam Poo ([email protected])"
"Kill the Smoking Habit Before It Kills YOU!" by Nick O'Teen and M. Fasima
([email protected])
"How to Campaign Successfully" by Telly Lyze and Pate "Bebe" Bottoms
([email protected])
"Fixations Associated with the Lower Extremities" by Harry Legman (footnotes by
Arch Busser) (Stigger4)
"Basic Techniques of French Cooking" by Julian Dice and Claire E. Feibutter
(Stigger4)
"1001 Excuses" by Annie Daynow and Hans I. Onligottoo (Stigger4)
"Journalism Ethics in the 1990s" by Tab Lloyd and Yale Lopress
([email protected])
""Medicating Your Children" by Cass Terroil and Rhitta Lynn ([email protected])
"How to Assert Yourself in a Crowd" by Deema Gogg and Atch Itaytor
([email protected])
"Scales in the Balance: Our Legal System" by Sue M. Daily and Anna Turney
(VAXPHILE)
"Mr. Fix-It" by Alan Rinch and Jack Hammer (VAXPHILE)
"Taking the Work Out of Housework" by Dustin Mopp and N.Z. Dryer (VAXPHILE)
"Oriental Soup" by Chow Dhown Ow and Sip Sum Soon ([email protected])
"Cockles and Mussels" by Alyva Lyvo and Shel Sliverseen ([email protected])
"The Philatelist" by Alec D. Stampe and Frank Nomor ([email protected])
"Beat That DUI Rap" by I.M. Reckless and Yul Clyde (Karen Ariz)
"Murder at the Manor" by Hugh Dunnitt and Gil T. Butler (Karen Ariz)
"Get Your Way" by B.A. Nagg and Ima Pest (Karen Ariz)
"Disneyland on $600.00 a Day" by Hugh Fling Doe and Standin Lines (Karen
Ariz)
"The Long Commute" by B.A. Ryder and Lisa Carr (Karen Ariz)
"The Marriage Book" by Tye Knotts and Sarah Monie (Karen Ariz)
The Art of Obscurity" by Lo Kee and Bea Vague (Karen Ariz)
"Lizzy Borden" by Sheila Hackett and Scott Free (Karen Ariz)
"California Driver's Handbook" by Scratch N. Dent and Sue L.
Svivers (ToxWaste)
"Looking for Love with Mr. Right" by Wanna Finda Goodman and Izzy Ohkay
(OpusQuest)
"The Motivation Primer" by Uri Prest and Ima Fine (MMooreWSK)
"Your Money Book" by Lotta Doe and Phil A. Bank (MMooreWSK)
"The Bolshevik Revolution" by Rush E. Young and Boyce C. Redd (MMooreWSK)
"Learn How to Drive" by Ike Rash and Viola Shun (Abodeadobe)
"A History of Musical Theater" by O. Klahoma and A. Cora Sline (Krendon)
"The Art of Debate" by I.M. Wright and Hugh Arnott (Krendon)
"Weightlifting for Dummies" by Hugh G. Pecks and Dell Toyd (CoreyGray)
"The Doctor's Book of Home Psychotherapy" by R. U. Nutts and Emma Loone
(CoreyGray)
"Thinking Yourself Thin" by Anne O. Recksik and Bea N. Poll (CoreyGray)
"Advanced Physics" by Rell A. Tivitee and Gene E. Yuss (CoreyGray)
"The Secret to Eternal Life" by Liv A. Longtime and Bilk DeReaper (Nabissco)
"An Introduction to Vegetarianism" by Donita Burger and Eaton Appleman
(Nabissco)
"How to Attract and Wed Men Under 25" by Seymour Youngmen and Mariam Callow
(Nabissco)
"Gospel Singing" by Donna Robe and Belle Oh (BALD MT)
"National Symbolism" by A. Merrick and Bo L. Deegle (BALD MT)
"He Broke My Heart" by Ivana M. Beck and E. Weigh (BALD MT)
"Let's Go Shelling" by Sandy Beech and Onda C. Shore ([email protected])
"The Best of Broadway" by Cammy Lott and Ford T. Karras ([email protected])
"The Age of Antiquity" by Ann T. de Luvian and B. Ford d'Arc
([email protected])
"The King's Crown" by Jasper Cohn and Helmut Schell [email protected]
"Harassment Suit" by Alice Sedwashigh and May B. Littlemore
([email protected])
"Decision Making" by Dick Cline and Hack Sept ([email protected])
"Two Paths Diverged" by Igor Ite and Hugo Left ([email protected])
"Reviewing Vacation Sites" by Crystal Clair Lake and Sandy Shore (Nancygum)
"The Life of a Comedian" by R. U. Happy and Bea Murray (Nancygum)
"Out of the Darkness" by Dawn Blaize, Dee Lites and Manny Sparks (Nancygum)
"Forecast Your Local Weather" by Earl E. Winter, Minnie Storm and Sonny Day
(Nancygum)
"Modern Crimes" by Robin Ladd and Noah Goode, forward by Hubie Judge
(Nancygum)
"Searching for a Handyman" by May Needham and B. Z. Plummer (Nancygum)
"How to Invest Money" by Rich Mann and A'net Worth, edited by I. C. Money,
illustrations by Penny Bank (Nancygum)
"Tracing Royal Lineage" by I. M. King and Neal Down (Nancygum)
"Home Repairs" by Saul N. Hammer and Ricky T. Joints (Nancygum)
"Facts About IQ" by U. B. Smart and Stu Pitt (Nancygum)
"The Forgotten Man" by R.E. Member and I.V. Fargot (Archan2900)
"Famous Falsehoods" by U.A. Lyre and H.E. Fibbs (Archan2900)
"Secret of the Smashed Door" by Enna Jamb and C.A. Splinter (Archan2900)
"Essays on Depression" by Maude Lynn and Sue E. Sydell (MPH97)
"Become Rich in Thirty Days" by Ben Krupt and Owen Plenney (Klamwall)
"Campaigning in America" by Phil R. Buster and S.C. Andahl (Chevelon)
"The Yo-Yo Diet" by Jonathan Guy and U. Stu Bephat (Cclouseau1)
"Pitching Didn't Become Me" by Sheldon Diamond and Hank N. Bender
(Cclouseau1)
"How to Handle a Basement Flood" by Phil McCracken and Hy R. Ground
(Cclouseau1)
"Waxed Floors" by Polly U. Rathane and Nat R. L. Woods (Cclouseau1)
"Flying by the Seats of Our Pants" by Landon Fields and 'Crash' Dailey
(Cclouseau1)
"Russian Roulette" by M. T. Chambers and Miss R. Noggins (Cclouseau1)
"Latin Treasure Hunt" by Juan Feingold with Al DeMapps (Cclouseau1)
"The Outrageous Years" by T. 'n' E. Bopper (NJSal)
"Stopping Smoking" by Will Power and Nick O. Wrette (Advwwk)
"Looking Younger" by Coven R. Gray and Serge R. Reese (Advwwk)
"Keeping Your Plumbing Healthy" by Flo A. Long and O. Pynn Draynes (Advwwk)
"Making the Grade" by Stu D. Hall and Tess Taye Kerr (CoopJean)
"Overcoming Fear" by Lil E. Liveherd and Macon Trax (CoopJean)
"Cooking in the 90's" by Kwee Sinart and Mike Roewave (Nythe)
"Modern Dating" by Inn Turnette and Dai Tingser Viss (Nythe)
"Field Guide to Birds" by Chic A. Dee and Ruff Ed Grous (Nythe)
"Can't Get No Satisfaction" by Nita Break and Ima Luzer (JKiikka)
"The Day the Lights Went Out" by B. Lone Fuse and Sun E. Clips
([email protected])
"Baking Soda: The Mysterious All-Purpose Powder!" by Bill Armstrong and Phillip
Hammer (EricZuerch)
"How We Lost the Stanley Cup Finals" by Flor Ida and Pan Thers (Wildcat56)
"We Are #1" by Yan Key and Bom Ers (Wildcat56)
"1896-1996" by Olym Pics and At Lanta (Wildcat56)
"The Compleat Guide to Using AOL" by Yuv Gotmale and Los Carrier (Phylwriter)
"How to Cut a Frog" by Di Sector and Ima D. Scientist (Drivefive)
"Judging" by Seamore Trials and D. Judge (Drivefive)
"What Exactly Am I Gaining by Eating Cereal for Breakfast Instead of Chocolate
Cake?: A Book for the Overeaters of America" by Jen Earl Mills and Kel Ogse
(GymnstChic)
"Sonny Bono Was Married to Twins" by Cher and Cher Alike (Unhunk)
"The Vietnam War, a Disney Perspective" by Peking (Donald) Duck
and Ho Chi Minnie (Stokermg)
"Juggling Pastry" by Betty Scoverd with Cara Mel (Reluft)
"Crime in the City" by Robin Banks and Sterling Cash ([email protected])
"Amusement Park" by Cara Sells and Rollo Costas ([email protected])
"Used Vehicle Handbook" by Carl Ott and Otto Price ([email protected])
"Elements of Carpentry" by Nelson Hammer and Mort S. Antenin
([email protected])
"Toys in the Attic" by Lincoln Loggs and Barb E. Dahl (RDH9995)
"The Poems of Robert Frost" by Miles Tugo and B. "Four Eyes" Leep (RDH9995)
"The Estate Sale" by Ann Teak and B. Billot (RDH9995)
"From Russia with Love" by Sy Beria and U. Crane (RDH9995)
"Native American Tribes" by R. Apahoe and Moe Hicken (RDH9995)
"People of the Arctic" by Al E. Oot and S. Kimo (RDH9995)
"Lap Dogs" by Dan D. Dinmont and P. Kinese (RDH9995)
"East Coast Accents" by Lon Giland and Joyce E. Shore (RDH9995)
"The American Rockies" by C. Aaron Evada and Cass Caidrange (RDH9995)
"Elegant Desserts" by Bergen D. Cherries and Bob Ahrum (RDH9995)
"European Appetizers" by S. Cargo and Cal Amari (RDH9995)
"Take It to the Limit" by Don E. Brook and Helen Highwater (RDH9995)
"Films of Judy Garland" by A. Starr Izborn and Babe Zinnarms (RDH9995)
"Films of Bing Crosby" by Y. "Kiki" Wedding and Gawaine Myway (RDH9995)
"I Could Go On, But," E. Nuff, Izzie Nuff! (SMPolonsky)
