Senryu Contest

Results of Senryu

We turned the judging of this contest over to WelchM (Michael Dylan Welch), a poet and haiku scholar who introduced us to senryu several months ago. As the entries came in, we saw that a lot of our regular game-players had taken this innocent, virtuous verse form and unleashed shameless wordplay upon it. This was undoubtedly an aberration from tradition, but it may have resulted in an altogether new poem: the "punryu."

Without further ado, we turn the proceedings over to WelchM. After having read all the poems submitted in this contest, our guest-host e-mailed the following report.

From Michael Dylan Welch:

A good senryu is not merely a knee-slapper, though it can be that. It's not just a showcase for puns or wit, although a good senryu can include cleverness or humour as part of a more resonant purpose. Rather, a senryu is a poem that wakes us up in a small way with its distilled, one-breath moment of heightened awareness focusing on human nature. It's a window into the human condition, freshly squeegeed. Senryu are, ultimately, poems of human self-awareness. They don't have to be funny, but often it is good to laugh at ourselves through senryu.

I'm pleased, then, to have read so many fine and amusing entries. While I might define a few of the entries as haiku rather than senryu, and others as aphorisms or only light wordplay, many poems had much to recommend them -- especially if they are first attempts at the form. Here are the top three selections:

***The Winners***

Night watchman's
sweatshirt proclaims
"Carpe diem"
(ShedPot)

after the show
the ventriloquist
loses his voice
([email protected])

Wedding photos late.
Oh well, someday
my prints will come.
(DIONFR)

Congratulations to the above winners. Meanwhile, it's hard to stop with just the preceding three, though, so here are ten Runners-Up:

therapy session --
the gambler
bets it won't help
(MiladyJoan)

reviewing
the budget speech
he shaves carefully
([email protected])

Students watch the clock
as the professor lectures
on immortality.
(Larkworthy)

cold spring day...
sexy blonde next door
calls me "sir"
(JTM666)

in street clothes --
obviously not
a real cyclist
(Powms)

Felon,
sneezing, says
"Pardon me"
(ShedPot)

The pregnant teen
watches the sex-ed film
without taking notes.
(Larkworthy)

the big dent
in the "please drive carefully"
bumper sticker
(Powms)

Penthouse reader,
spying nursing mother,
blushes deeply
(SMPolonsky)

In the gated community
a welcome mat
on the porch.
(RDH9995)

And, just for fun, here are five Punners-Up:

disturbed priest
has a bad habit
of dressing like a nun
(Robert1919)

Emily Post
driving down a country road
takes the wrong fork
([email protected])

At the florist
I spotted a cop...
he was a plant.
([email protected])

Busy autumn --
open-air bakery
rakes in the dough
(SMPolonsky)

politicians
make good golfers --
always have a good lie.
(ToxWaste)

Thanks to everyone who entered this senryu contest for having some fun (sometimes seriously), and congratulations to the preceding winners. For more information on the Haiku Society of America and other groups and publications that promote and publish haiku, senryu, and related forms, please feel free to contact Michael Dylan Welch at [email protected]. To subscribe to the Shiki-L online haiku (and senryu) discussion list, send the message "subscribe" to [email protected]. And happy senryu-writing to all.

--MDW

***Other Favorites From the Senryu Contest***

first kiss--

aftertaste lingers

sixty years

(MiladyJoan)

courting--

which tie to wear

judge cannot decide

(MiladyJoan)

diatribe belabored--

the blind man says

I see, I SEE.

(MiladyJoan)

second ticket this week--

angry driver

speeds away

(MiladyJoan)

encounter at the ball

eyes dancing everywhere

avoiding ex

(MiladyJoan)

close shave--

nicking quickly past

the town gossip

(MiladyJoan)

one-way street--

but officer, I was only

going one way

(MiladyJoan)

final exam--

studious & nonchalant

wiping sweaty palms

(MiladyJoan)

watching horror film

eyes squeezed

tightly shut

(MiladyJoan)

prom date--first shave

white tie and tux

and styptic

(MiladyJoan)

Illicit night games--

shoes in hand

player steals home

(MiladyJoan)

church choir--

only the homeless man

sings on key

(RBeary)

afternoon seance--

the medium

pulls the shade

(SFBAS)

kissing bandit's

getaway sports car

hugs the road

(SFBAS)

ambulance call--

steadfast wife

stuck by her man

(SFBAS)

guru shares wisdom

with wealthy woman

rapt in ermine

(SFBAS)

roller rink--

my loose change skates

across the floor

([email protected])

strutting along

the paisley shirted tourist

sees another peacock

([email protected])

at halftime

a bumblebee drinks from

the soda fountain

([email protected])

the zookeeper

near the baboon cage

scratching his head

([email protected])

school cafeteria--

a stack of plates crashes and

the crowd applauds

([email protected])

Pediatric office--

high school linebacker

cries over shot

(SMPolonsky)

Long line at Macy's--

where Master Origamist

waits for gift-wrapping

(SMPolonsky)

Pompous musician

in percussion section

plays wind chimes

(SMPolonsky)

smudged glasses--

the window washer

misses the scaffold's edge

([email protected])

dead battery...

the electrician calls

the auto club

([email protected])

waving his check--

salesman fails to flag

passing waitress

([email protected])

our dog licks

my reflection

in the cold puddle

([email protected])

hot summer night

an empty beer bottle

sweats on my counter

([email protected])

cold winter street

heavy snow blankets a sculpture

of mother holding child

([email protected])

sitting in doughnut shop

quietly

blowing smoke rings

([email protected])

the atheist

stares quizzically

at a praying mantis

(Robert1919)

a fifty-page report

of detailed plans

for saving trees

(Robert1919)

electrocution on the rails

trainman survived--

a poor conductor

(Robert1919)

she's not good enough

the harpist is turned away

by Saint Peter

(Robert1919)

cowboy rides horse

bareback--

gets sunburned

(Robert1919)

clumsy vegetarian

walks into his garden

and harvests only squash

(Robert1919)

Bricklayer--

huge fan of

hard boiled eggs.

(Simba eec)

Drive-in projectionist

loses license

in high-speed chase.

(Simba eec)

Ballet class--

bellying up

to the bar.

(Simba eec)

Asked why she

didn't do the homework,

she has no answer.

(Larkworthy)

The teacher says "Learn

from life," and the students ask

"Will it be on the test?"

(Larkworthy)

The class yawns

through the lecture

on apathy.

(Larkworthy)

Grading papers,

the teacher's red pen

runs out of ink.

(Larkworthy)

The student unwrinkles

his test paper and looks

at the grade again.

(Larkworthy)

A student complains

her grade doesn't reflect

her potential.

(Larkworthy)

On safari...

A lion! Shoot!

Click went the camera.

([email protected])

Shopping for luggage...

Became weary,

Left with sleeping bag.

([email protected])

At hardware store...

On Halloween night,

"Witch broom?"

([email protected])

At ballgame

After a home run

He shouted "Hot dog!"

([email protected])

quick kiss that

just misses my cheek--

"break a leg"

(JTM666)

curtain call--

faultless evening clothes

reek of sweat

(JTM666)

cold cream takes

off the eyeliner...

leaves the bags

(JTM666)

dreams of applause...

pillow smeared with rouge

this morning

(JTM666)

office at night:

solitaire left on

every screen

(JTM666)

drowsy crows...

we huddle by the squawking

speaker phone

(JTM666)

cooing pigeons:

heads together, the guys

in the back row

(JTM666)

craning my neck

to see the doodles in

my friend's notebook

(JTM666)

heads swing

from clock to watch to clock...

hands are still

(JTM666)

listening

to voice after voice...

a loose button!

(JTM666)

"You've got to

get the big picture"

... his runny nose

(JTM666)

one beeper--

eighty pairs of eyes

leave the speaker

(JTM666)

caroling

"Margaritaville"

to the snowstorm

(JTM666)

in the lobby

breaking ice

from my moustache

(JTM666)

hand in hand

with Mom in Time Square,

he peeks at hookers

(JTM666)

in tight, flowered pants

she saws hard on her bushes--

the flowers shudder

(Powms)

men on a park bench--

the in-line skater passes,

then they watch her go

(Powms)

the rapid walker

chewing gum in time

with the song she hums

(Powms)

the bicyclist,

his radio on,

in his cloud of noise

(Powms)

in the garbage can

teeming lines of ants

recycling

(Powms)

down on her belly

photographing some flowers,

crunching others

(Powms)

on the barber sign

a pointing hand--forefinger

clipped off short

(Powms)

hand with a hangnail

holding the plate

with the chipped rim

(Powms)

a homeless man

wearing a cigar band

as a ring

(Powms)

she chairs the meeting--

he watching, thinking about

her slender ankles

(Powms)

Dental exam,

still no cavities.

"Here, have a sucker."

(EZWriterMJ)

Blind date.

He buys a bad toupee.

She adores Yul Brynner.

(EZWriterMJ)

Hospital stay.

Nurse wakes you up,

time for your sleeping pill.

(EZWriterMJ)

Three Stooges rerun.

Wiping a tear,

you poke your own eye.

(EZWriterMJ)

NewYork cab driver,

off duty,

waiting for the subway.

(EZWriterMJ)

pie-eating contest

winner declared

fat lady sings

(TINA099)

Sequestered jury;

At breakfast

No one orders OJ.

(Taimse)

Leaning for the goodnight kiss

As the porch light

Flickers on

(AReed2500)

Camcorder, ball & bat

Grimace

Man clutching groin

([email protected])

Sleeping man with cat

Smoke detector

Flesh trickles blood

([email protected])

Unlikely to be tasted

Atop flimsy table

The wedding cake

([email protected])

As at Gettysburg

Bodies everywhere

Unstable trampoline

([email protected])

Ill-fitting dress

Grandmother dancing

Without it

([email protected])

Deep fly ball

Veering foul

New windshield planned

([email protected])

Not for long

Astride boat and land

Pushing off from the dock

([email protected])

Enjoying rare solitude

in ladies room,

on exit, read "MEN"

(Goofysgal)

Wondering where

a Cruise Director

vacations?

(Goofysgal)

Greeted at fancy salon

by woman

with purple hair

(Goofysgal)

Can't help correcting

spelling on son's note

from teacher

(Goofysgal)

Love hurts--

The valentine she sent me

Cut my finger.

([email protected])

a call

about a police raid...

replacing the receiver

([email protected])

showers

at her in-laws'

then scrubs up the soap

([email protected])

coffee break

a legal secretary files

her fingernails

([email protected])

night on the town--

trying a credit card

in the door lock

([email protected])

the Scrabble champ

held her trophy,

speechless.

(HayBish)

A mare and a stallion

In the pasture

Horsing around

(MINightOwl)

The party host

Offering a toast

To Melba

(MINightOwl)

Blood bank employee

Tells the donor

"You're not our type"

(MINightOwl)

As the tide goes out

The ocean seems

To wave goodbye

(MINightOwl)

A master clockmaker

Turning out his craft

Time and time again

(MINightOwl)

Frantic search through

catalogue--gardener

finds no peas.

(Bufinora1)

Toto lost--Alaska.

Thought Dorothy said,

"... no place like Nome".

(Bufinora1)

I'm not a slob--

I'm Martha Stewart,

simplified.

(Bufinora1)

Insomnia--

can't get that therapist

outta my mind.

(Bufinora1)

finally hers

after twenty years

he lost his charm

([email protected])

my father

corrects my table manners

then belches

([email protected])

harvesting hawthorn berries

for health--

the fingers bleed.

([email protected])

he gloved a wounded hand

then sobbed out

his life story.

([email protected])

crash

cats on the lookout

for the culprit

([email protected])

toddler tries

to discover the world

in one afternoon

(Karen Ariz)

dad

buys expensive toy--

child plays with the box

(Karen Ariz)

man with two cars

a wife and teen--

pedestrian

(Karen Ariz)

I've trained my dog well--

he scoots his bowl

I go fill it

(Karen Ariz)

bug in my eye--

walking through brittle leaves

a dogpile

([email protected])

painting green trim

the fat man's pants

fall below his crack

([email protected])

on the fast train

a little boy closes his eyes

and eats corn chips

([email protected])

exhaling smoke through her nose

the old lady

winks at me

([email protected])

perfectly dressed--

a spot of unshaven hair

on the businessman's face

([email protected])

inside the casino

Mr. Chips

craps out

(Robmur)

romantic picnic...

sandwiching kisses

between bites

(Robmur)

God, just in time,

my co-pilot

takes control

(Robmur)

after elections

politicians

get out votes

(Robmur)

Monday morning --

sharpen pencils

erase memories

(Robmur)

roaring bulldozer

gently moves aside

the toddler's trike

(ESnow333)

he's riding a horse,

but feels like

an ass

(Hankathy)

State Street Santa

stamps sticky snow

from raggedy Reeboks

(ESnow333)

soup du jour

alphabet lite

only twenty-five letters

([email protected])

The trapeze artist

Flies fearlessly

Tugging at suspenders.

(Meggie)

animal activists

protesting in the park

raining cats and dogs

(ReTry47)

heavy housewife

sweatin' to the oldies

eating day old doughnuts

(ReTry47)

Medusa was stoned

As her victims threw

Themselves at her

([email protected])

Once-colorful

Autumn leaves,

White winter arrives

([email protected])

my ophthalmologist

is slowly

going blind

(OnyxFlames)

anti-government agent

voted for Dole

on Election Day

(OnyxFlames)

the fat lady

warbles like a

nightingale

(OnyxFlames)

her carefully applied

hundred-dollar perfume

just reeks

(OnyxFlames)

Homer-hitting player

strikes out

in labor talks

(Softalker)

Overweight painter

switches to

acrylics

(Softalker)

In Christo's Christmas stocking:

beautifully wrapped

umbrella

(Softalker)

Lass despairs flaws

Crone embraces beauty

In mirror

(Softalker)

Falling chestnut

flushes bird

from stalking cat

(Softalker)

heavy groceries -

the checkout lady asks again

are you pregnant?

([email protected])

watching dad eating sweets

she asks

why don't your teeth go black?

([email protected])

The neighbor's leaves

in the fall

always become ours

(Poetrymama)

Eating nectarines

paper napkins

stick on your chin

(Poetrymama)

A fly on my plate

this can not be

I am vegetarian

(Poetrymama)

the little boy

finds the dirt

in the hospital

(Ms Emlet)

I bought a book

on self-motivation

but didn't need it after all.

([email protected])

Bank merger--

shark eats minnow

and throws up.

([email protected])

My web page

is about how much I hate

technology.

([email protected])

the weatherman

said "no rain"

he was struck by lightning.

(ToxWaste)

Las Vegas line-up:

victim IDs

one-armed bandit

(RbtUnger)

Squeegee man

Holds the cleansing rag

in grubby palm

([email protected])

Christmas

Celebration of love

through retail sales

([email protected])

snow blankets

the homeless man

wrapped up in himself

(CHARLEEHD1)

the willowy girl

pines away

for the lumberjack

(CHARLEEHD1)

The surf waves

to the sandy haired child

drowning in sorrow

(CHARLEEHD1)

The Black Knight

falls in eleven

The King smiles

(G8ly)

Close order drill

at Aberdeen

--what's your sign, Private?

(G8ly)

Leaving Rwanda

on midnight train

Hutu, Tutsi goodbye

(G8ly)

her shirt read

"walk like a poem"

and then she fell

(Wealtheow)

golf lesson

new grip, new stance, new swing

same old game

([email protected])

Paper boy

in checkout line

chooses plastic

(RDH9995)

Between bites

the waiter persists--

How is everything?

(RDH9995)

The black widow's mate

comes courting--

fatal attraction.

(RDH9995)

At the hint of a melody

the rapmaster

frowns.

(RDH9995)

The Spanish Inquisitor

kneels and prays

like a mantis.

(RDH9995)

Sweet young things

in mall fitting rooms--

gender Gap.

(RDH9995)

Hobbling, bobbling,

arthritic seniors

surf the net.

(RDH9995)

Genteel London--

trash is collected

by dustbin men.

(RDH9995)

Mesmerized

by cubic zirconia

home shoppers dial.

(RDH9995)

Holiday sign painters

put the "X"

back in Xmas.

(RDH9995)

To prudes

the miniskirt

hit a new low.

(RDH9995)

The agoraphpobe's mailbox--

brimming

with catalogs.

(RDH9995)

White zinfandel--

the oenophile

wrinkles his nose.

(RDH9995)

Ecru

and dusty rose--

poor colors for cars.

(RDH9995)

At fifty-eight

he restores

a fifty-eight Merc.

(RDH9995)

A stumped

Lexicographer,

At a loss for words.

([email protected])

Two months in

Space Station MIR...

A dieter's dream.

([email protected])

Summer leaves

When autumn falls

Memories of a winter frieze

(MelissaFox)

Dispensing good cheer,

the bartender

calls the shots.

(PayPete1st)

Fog and rain

Can't see at all--

Seattle

(PayPete1st)

Modems--

speed bumps

for the internet

(PayPete1st)

I like to hike. You

climb high, your eye curious,

till feet point at sky.

(PayPete1st)

Remembering her promises

as she begged for a pet

while I am cleaning the cage

(Apple89109)

I, who can't carry a tune,

sing out loud

in the shower.

(Mypoet)

When the square peg

is forced into the round hole,

a few chips may fly.

(Mypoet)

Winter whiteness,

my path a jagged canyon,

I reek of BenGay.

(JC Rose)

All alone

tonight,

www.hereI.com.

(DIONFR)

winter afternoon--

as you undress I look up

another word

([email protected])

The Atlantic Puzzler

turning a quiet time

into quite a time

(RosenNYT)

Amish fertilize

fields organically

air pungently

([email protected])

her new bathing suit

very sexy but too small

to reach her tan

([email protected])

a fortune teller

on the road

she didn't see the signs

(Emily Capelle)

Underwear manufacturers

let employees test products

time for a change

(Travis Anderson)

the bell sounds

my scholars go

I have no class

([email protected])

home school studies

parent and child

classless society

([email protected])

sorry about your boots

but my dog thought

you were a tree

(T iscold)

protesters

pollute skies

to proclaim Valdez' sins

(Chazzu)

ironic artform:

captures simply

complex ideas.

([email protected])

He saves hard copies

of all his

e-mail

(DOCTOR GO)

Kids grow up and leave

come back

Revolving door?

(CWilson992)

Whistler's mother

was really

off her rocker

(Hdebelak)

How we loathe

trash TV

hour after hour

(LeonardJK)

Tobacco executives

sell their souls

and we buy

(LeonardJK)

Mother lecturing daughter

Who is pregnant

While having 6th child

(DDM425)

Homecoming queen

her date is not the king,

but the joker

(Wdstock69)

A robin cries

a final flutter of wings,

death in Gotham City.

(Lodo1)

A King is a king

But once a Knight

is enough.

(JANN4U)

With cigarette in hand

The scarecrow

Lights a match

(Flowchild)

With one week to go

The valedictorian

Drops out of school

(Flowchild)

At days end

the boa

winds down

(Prendog)

Clinton re-elected

just deserts

pineapple upside-down cake

(Laur D 3)

On the verge of cracking

the Almond knew

he was nuts.

(JENKRAFT)

The weekend begins

He snores by the tv

She connects in cyberspace

([email protected])

The english teacher

made the mime answer--

in his own words.

([email protected])

veni

vidi

veggie--

I came

I saw

I dieted

(Garrobmil)

a mouse has

a tail and

two buttons

(Garrobmil)

computer crash--

when two modems connect

head on

(Garrobmil)

up-grade today--

it takes little cash to

increase your cache

(Garrobmil)

smell of burning leaves.

the frog caught

in my throat

([email protected])

changing table fart.

"mommy, I sneezed

from my bottom"

([email protected])

Faucet stream

wildly pulses--

out of sync

(ShedPot)

Army dentist

ranks as

drill sergeant

(ShedPot)

Lawyer

measured by tailor

for new suit

(ShedPot)

aboard the *Titanic*

a bartender

runs out of ice

([email protected])

engrossed in his tabloid

the 7-11 clerk

misses Elvis

([email protected])

what is the sound

of one hand clapping?

castanets.

([email protected])

e e cummings

fires his typist

for being shiftless

([email protected])

Examples of "cleryu" (a crossbreed between the clerihew and the senryu):

Shirley Maclaine

is abducted

by illegal aliens

([email protected])

Ogden Nash

has a bash

at writing a senryu

for this contest, but can't for the life of him remember the

name of the people running the thing and has to ask "Emily and

Henry who?"

([email protected])

E. C. Bentley

did not go gently

or was that Dylan's father? Bother!

([email protected])

And the "limeryu":

Lit. Crit. Ph.D.

asks me

"Want fries with it?"

([email protected])

***And Three More Senryu from Michael Dylan Welch***

daylight saving time--

clock shop owner

in to work early

Sunday lunch--

the sixth grader eats his soup

alphabetically

before the guests arrive

I straighten

the straight cushions