Non-romance language

Mary T. Bishop, of Santa Rosa, Calif., writes: "I've recently begun dating after a few years of solitude. I'm beginning to wonder why I'm bothering, but I digress ... Lately I've experienced those awkward moments at the end of the evening when I know the guy wants to kiss but I'm not interested. So a lot of hemming and hawing takes place while I back into my house. Awkward. Shouldn't there be a word for such moments?"

Mary T. Bishop is looking for a word to describe that awkward moment at the end of a date when she would rather avoid the guy's attempt at a kiss. I think she ought to find better guys to date. In any case that awkward moment is called a "face-off." One tries to kiss the other goodnight; the other backs off as if to say "get out of my face!" Awkward indeed.

I think she ought to find better guys to date.

So are you like the perfect model of the new feminist male, or what? Perhaps there was a practical reason for the traditional idea of not kissing on the first date. There's no assurance that both people want to. Anyway, I digress. The thing to keep in mind is that when you're shunned, you're not just being shunned by her. You're being shunned by everyone who's ever shunned her, and everyone who's ever shunned them in turn, and ..... The new age definition of a "safe date" is going "dutch treat".

And all this time I thought I was the only old-fashioned guy on the planet! Glad to know not everybody thinks you absolutely must do something physical at the end of the first (or third) date. If the guy is being an obnoxious loser, dump the bum! Who cares if he looks like Tom Cruise, smiles like Harrison Ford and (to quote my Mom) "has a butt like Denzel Washington!"
But I seriously digress...
As for a word to describe said situation, how about "moralistic" or "self-aware?" Know yourself, like yourself, and don't let anybody do anything you don't want them to (well, except the IRS--NOBODY can control them!).

On 4/1/99 2:32:25 AM, Michael Morrissey wrote:

>In any case that awkward moment
>is called a "face-off." One
>tries to kiss the other
>goodnight; the other backs off
>as if to say "get out of my
>face!" Awkward indeed.

it seems only too obvious that this should be called a "kiss-off".... sorry.
: )

While it will never attain common usage and
may be reminiscent of the Road Runner
cartoons the term "oscullatus interruptus"
would seem to describe the act of withdrawal
if not the situation itself.
On 3/31/99 10:22:44 AM, Barbara Wallraff wrote:
>Mary T. Bishop, of Santa Rosa,
>Calif., writes: "I've recently
>begun dating after a few years
>of solitude. I'm beginning to
>wonder why I'm bothering, but
>I digress ... Lately I've
>experienced those awkward
>moments at the end of the
>evening when I know the guy
>wants to kiss but I'm not
>interested. So a lot of
>hemming and hawing takes place
>while I back into my house.
>Awkward. Shouldn't there be a
>word for such moments?"
>
>

A deadlock with a counterbalancing effect is a standoff. The term face-off comes from hockey but does refer to the period of time just before you make your move. If your date is smart, he'll notice that you're being standoffish and exit the end of the evening encounter without a skirmish.

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Topic:	non-romance languages (1 of 1), Read 49 times
Conf:	Word Fugitives, with Barbara Wallraff
From:	Mark Glunz ([email protected])
Date:	Thursday, April 08, 1999 05:39 PM

I haven't been where you are for more years than I want to admit - but I think that the word

STUMBLESHUNS

would fit your situation. You're trying to get through something (stumbling) that you really would not be part of (shunning)