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“Weddings are funny affairs—tense, expensive, fraught with emotion,” writes Xochitl Gonzalez, an Atlantic staff writer who was once a luxury-wedding planner. “They are revisited—by the couple, by the family, by the person paying the bills—time and again. They mark the beginning of a couple’s new life but sometimes of other things too: family feuds, broken friendships, a long hangover of fiscal regret.”
Weddings have always been luxury goods, Gonzalez explains, but “wedding envy” kicked into high gear with the rise of TheKnot.com in the mid-1990s. “The Knot created a community; it made being a bride an identity. And it transformed weddings into a competitive sport,” Gonzalez writes.
You’re probably familiar with some of the results of this shift: engagement photos taken first and foremost with Instagram in mind; an onslaught of wedding merch such as personally branded bottle openers or sunglasses; lavish affairs that seem to go on forever. In honor of wedding season, we’re using today’s newsletter to think about the joy, the drama, and the excess of weddings in the 21st century.
On Weddings
The Wedding Trend Couples Love and Guests Hate
By Kelly Conaboy
Why do newlyweds seem to think people want custom wedding merch taking up space in cabinets and drawers for years to come?
By Xochitl Gonzalez
The work of a luxury-wedding planner is only partly about the planning.
By Annie Midori Atherton
Proposal parties. Extended bachelor and bachelorette weekends. Multiple honeymoons. Modern marriage celebrations can feel endless.
Still Curious?
- Why more couples are getting married by a friend: “By the power vested in me by our friendship, I now pronounce you married.”
- The couples who get married on a weekday: One in five weddings now takes place during the workweek—and not just because it’s cheaper. (From 2019)
Other Diversions
P.S.
In her article about wedding merch, Kelly Conaboy is faced with the dilemma of what to offer guests at her own wedding. “I don’t want to spend money contributing to a landfill, or foist items on my friends and family that they’ll keep only out of guilt,” she writes. “But, you know, I’m just so excited about commemorating the day. I guess I’m leaning toward either a life-size cardboard cutout of myself or a framed copy of this article, signed by me.”
— Isabel
