Dogberry in Paris

The story of a modern Dogberry, told at a recent meeting of the Contributors’ Club, recalled to me an experience of last summer which, although far from amusing at the time, has afforded me a certain amount of satisfaction whenever I have thought of it since.

My Dogberry was a chef de gare at the goods station of the Chemin de Fer du Nord, in Paris ; and the circumstances under which I made his acquaintance were these. I chanced to be in Amsterdam with my friend S., and we were about to take a little run through Germany, to bring up in Paris after a few weeks. Not wishing to be encumbered with unnecessary luggage, we packed the greater part of our modest belongings in two trunks, and turned them over to a forwarding agent to be shipped to Paris station restante. Both trunks were covered by a single receipt, issued in my name. The forwarding agent assured me that all I had to do, upon reaching Paris, was to present this receipt at the goods station, pick out the trunks, and take them away.

The morning after our arrival in Paris we set out, light of heart, to claim our luggage. When we happened to mention our mission to an acquaintance at the hotel, he smiled sardonically, and remarked that we had an all day’s job before us. We took this as a pleasant sort of joke at the time, but before the day was over learned that it was a profound and veracious observation. We were told that the goods station of the Nord was at La Chapelle, in the outskirts of the city, and so we hailed a passing ’bus which was going in that direction. The station reached, we alighted, and began to make inquiries. It is a peculiarity of Continental officials that they never direct you at once to the person whom you are seeking, but pass you on from clerk to clerk, up through the whole hierarchy of subordinates, until you come to the one whose business it is to tell you what you are trying to find out. Having been thus passed on in the regular way, we at last found the magasin, or storehouse, and soon discovered our trunks. At this juncture we smiled, as we thought what a simple matter it was, after all, and how facetious our acquaintance of the morning had been. We were next directed to the chef de gare, and with him our trials commenced. I explained to him our wishes, and produced my receipt. This was examined and compared with a pile of papers before him, one of which was soon seen to be the bill of lading for the trunks. But the official shook his head dubiously, and said that my receipt was not sufficient. The receipt of the railway company was required for the delivery of the goods. I explained that we had no such receipt, and that the forwarding agent in Amsterdam had declared none to be necessary. But arguments were of no avail ; the receipt of the railway company must be produced.

Finally, we were told that, although our informant laid no authority to allow so irregular a withdrawal of goods from the station, we might possibly obtain the necessary authorization from one of the higher officials at the central bureau of the company. So we asked to be directed thither, and were given an address down in the heart of the city.

Armed with this, we started back, chafing a little at the annoyance. We reached the bureau, entered, were met by a clerk, and made known our wishes to him. He referred us politely to the next in authority, and we again explained the situation. After listening to us attentively, this official passed us on to a third, and we poured the tale into his ear. He was an old gentleman, with a benign cast of countenance, and indications of a certain amount of intelligence. Having grasped the situation, he left us, he said, to consult the high and mighty official at the head of the department. In about five minutes he returned with the information that the head of the department was at breakfast, but would probably come back within an hour. Thereupon we sallied forth, and whiled away the hour at a neighboring café. The time up, we presented ourselves to our clerical friend, and were told that the great functionary had finished his breakfast. This was encouraging, and we asked if we might be accorded an interview with him. The smile with which this suggestion was received showed us our mistake ; no ordinary mortal might approach that august presence. But our clerical friend was privileged to have audience, and he left us for that purpose. Then we sat and waited for about twenty minutes.

When our friend returned, it was to tell us that we could not have the required authority at once, but that a subordinate of the department had been detailed to accompany us to the La Chapelle station, and that he was armed with the proper instructions. Presently this official appeared, and we all three set off.

Again we sought our chef de gare, who at once closeted himself with the special representative of the higher authority. The interview lasted nearly half an hour, and then they reappeared to inform us gravely that the trunks could not be delivered without the receipt of the railway company. I repeated that I had no such receipt, and that it was impossible for me to obtain one, as I was going to sail for America in two days. It was suggested, with, I am sure, wholly unconscious humor, that I should telegraph to Amsterdam for it. Imagine explaining the matter in a telegram ! Then I pointed out that my name was on one of the trunks, my friend’s on the other ; that we had the keys to both in our pockets ; and that we could describe their contents. But all this was not of the slightest avail. Finally, I offered to produce my steamship ticket, my letter of credit, and my passport, in evidence of my identity with the person to whom one of the trunks belonged. This, I thought, would surely be a knock-down argument. But I thought so because I had not fully realized that I was dealing with a genuine Dogberry. I realized it, however, when the chef de gare, becoming excited at our persistence, declared that upon no evidence of my identity would lie deliver the trunks without the required receipt, and that he would deliver them to anybody who should produce the receipt, whether they belonged to him or not. At this point I think we both lost, our patience. At all events, we took turns in expressing, in our most eloquent French, our opinion of such proceedings. Our auditors were listening with growing amazement to the discourse, when one of them seemed to be struck by an idea. He whispered it to the other, who nodded approval. Then a consultation under the breath followed, of which we caught a snatch now and then. “ They might try it.” “ It would n’t do any harm, would it ? ” “ Not that I can see.” Such were the phrases that fell upon our expectant ears. As the result of this deliberation, we were told that it had just occurred to the speaker that the Amsterdam agents, whose blunder had made us all this trouble, were represented in Paris by a Monsieur So-and-So, having an office in the Rue des Marais. If we could find the gentleman in question, and persuade him to assume the entire responsibility in the matter, the trunks would be delivered to us.

Despair giving place to renewed hope, we sallied forth on our new quest. A cab was hailed, and we soon found the person whose address had been furnished us. Once more did we make our way through that tiresome explanation (an explanation that had naturally grown more complicated with each new stage of the proceedings); but this time we discovered, to our delight, that we were dealing with a man of intelligence. He had no difficulty in understanding what we wanted, but we found it exceedingly difficult to make him understand why the trunks had not been handed over to us upon a presentation of the receipt in our possession. Such a receipt should, he said, have been ample for the purpose. Then he went to his desk and wrote out an elaborate document in the shape of a formal demand upon the railway company for the delivery of the trunks, at the same time discharging them of all responsibility. This was signed with a big flourish, ornamented with a revenue stamp, and delivered to us.

Then we started for La Chapelle again. We found our old friend, the chef de gare, in a remote corner of the magasin, and handed him our document with a triumphant smile. He read it carefully, pondered a few moments, and finally said that the trunks were at our disposition. He took us to his office, and found the bill of lading. Armed with this, I next sought the desk of a customs officer, who requested me to write out a description of the packages to be withdrawn, and a statement of their contents. This being done, I was directed to the cashier’s window, where I paid the charges for transportation. Then I was directed to another window, where I paid ten centimes for a stamp, which was duly affixed to the receipt given me by the cashier. With bill of lading and receipt I again sought the magasin, and succeeded in getting the trunks brought out into an open space for examination. There I was told that I must wait for the appearance of the véficateur de douane, in whose presence the trunks were to be opened. Presently that official appeared. I unlocked the trunks ; he compared their contents with my written declaration, which he held in his hand, expressed himself as satisfied, and departed. The trunks were placed on a truck, and carried out near the entrance of the building. Here there were stationed two officials, each at a separate desk, and each examined my papers, and requested me to sign some document or other. I signed everything that was handed me, ami after a while we got outside the building. Then there was a large yard to be crossed, and an entrance-gate, with guardhouse, to be passed. Through this yard an official accompanied us, and explained matters to the guard, I signed one more document, and we were free at last. All Paris was before us, and our luggage was our own. The trunks were piled into the cab, we piled in after them, and half an hour more found us at dinner at our hotel. We had started out at ten in the morning, and it was nearly six o’clock in the afternoon when we returned.